In the past 7 years, I had the luck to work with many bright people. I collaborated with great tech minds and fantastic communicators. I had managers who oozed the experience of running tech teams for years.

I juiced knowledge out of them and my experiences, and I want to share it with you.

In the previous article, I focused on our personal development as players of an ever-changing game. This article describes 3 key ideas that will help you be welcomed in most teams and liked by your colleagues.

Soft skills matter more than you think

When you join a company, you essentially join a team. There is the immediate team you collaborate with daily and the broader team that your team is part of. Anything you do contributes to your team's goals as all your actions happen in the context of your team. Therefore, being a good team player can unlock your career growth.

Certain characteristics make someone a great team player. We call these characteristics, soft skills. The way you communicate, your ability to help, and your interest in other people's problems will determine how you will fit in your team. Be great for your team, and you will be valuable for your manager.

Gaining a positive vote from the team can push you one step closer to your next goal. But remember, being great with code is not enough. You need to adjust to any environment and be productive while helping others. For example, superstar developers who cannot communicate well cannot exist in any team.

People who seemed to be a good fit for our teams during interviews were always picked before people more skilled who seemed a potential bad fit. Because at the end of the day, no one wants to risk making a team dysfunctional by bringing one very skilled individual.

The great news is that soft skills can be improved.

1. Practice daily by being mindful of the way you communicate

2. Help people get unstuck, you will get better at it slowly

3. Observe what your team needs and try to fix it

4. Join soft skills courses

Respect everyone

Most workspaces these days provide a safe environment for people to work. The basic etiquette is respected by all of us providing a civilised way to collaborate. It is easy to follow these unwritten rules, making sure you are not causing unnecessary problems to the people around you. And you should be happy if you do just that.

But, there is a lot more power to explore in the relationships between people. You can respect everyone and show it, people will appreciate it and they will want to work with you more. The respect I am talking about here is not the "standard" surface respect that can be described as etiquette. It is one step further, you need to love your colleagues. Of course, I am not talking about love in the romantic sense, but in the purely human one.

You can care about them and understand where they come from. They have their own lives and needs. You need to turn on your antennas and detect the human condition in every interaction you have. You are not talking to just a colleague but to a walking history of problems, worries, and needs - like yourself! Respect that deeply and you will be a great colleague (human) for everyone

Sh@t $p and listen, then, listen more

It is very easy to start talking and quit listening. The need to show that we know everything and we have the greatest ideas is always there. We also have the false belief that everything we say is interesting. But most of it is interesting to us. We focus on getting our opinions across and we do not have the energy to listen to other people.

But great things happen when we stop and really, deeply listen. Our conversation counterparts feel empowered. We gain more insights into who they are.

They start to love to work with us and in response, they listen to us back. We learn from them more and learn to view the world with different eyes, as we get a good insight into their minds.

The best? It is very easy to listen. At least it is for me and I practise it daily.

What do I do? I listen actively, I set my whole energy to digest the words directed to my ears. I forget my opinions for a second (what a relief!) and open my door's mind to the other people's ideas to walk in. I repeat back what I heard to ensure that I understood and to make them see that I heard them.

Everyone has something to teach you, and everyone has a different perspective on the problem you are trying to solve. Just make yourself available to them at any given chance.